I just had a thought but haven't the energy to think it through (formulating it always helps): is it not true that 90% of all conversations are based on disagreement? Meaning to say that if you talk to someone, you don't talk to them, you discuss something with them. Exceptions are introductions (telling about oneself) or teaching or expanding the other's horizon.
Maybe that's why I'm not good at talking to anyone past the pleasantries: I hate conflicts and I'd rather "nod and smile" my way out of them than in any way discuss something. I've tried to teach myself to be more adamant and clear headed in some point but its just spectacularly unbecoming to me.
Judge me, plz, is that good or bad (ethically, socially and professionally)?
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3 comments:
wow, seems like i've walked into a pit of fire--been quite volatile around here as of late, eh?
as for your question "Judge me, plz, is that good or bad (ethically, socially and professionally)?"
Personally, I think that ecthically that's bad to smile and nod your way out of it because you're not standing up for what you truly believe in. Socially it's good because sometimes you need to do that, you know, like pick your battles or however that saying goes. As for professionally, it's probably a great skill--in fact I'd even recommend that you become a diplomat : ) But as most things are, it all depends on the situtation. Sometimes, you just need to smile and nod until it's over because it's not even worth your time and energy. Just so long as you're not compromising yourself/ your situation/beliefs/etc.
(by the way this is becca ^_^--I decided to start over again on blogging)
Hmm..
Anja: I wasn't thinking as much within friendships as in just relations normally. Any conversation is quickly put to death if the parties involved don't hold different views on something (with reservations for the ones who have no sense of the situation and just keep blabbering on and on and on and oooooon about things so irrelevant that the other party doesn't even wanna start commenting it, much less arguing any points that MAY be made..) I'm not thinking of personal things said in confidence between two friends, but rather of general small-talk said between two who might as well be acquintances. Its just a general social trend - or is it? Maybe it just seems like 90% to me, because I notice it so much and just forget the other conversational banter (which may well be what constitutes 90% of all conversation?)
I don't know, maybe it doesn't matter..
ecthros: [good to hear from you again! :) ] Ethically, is it really that bad not to make a statement about what you believe everywhere you go? -maybe I don't even wanna take a stand about absolutely everything that one is able to take a stand on.. -which is essentially what you end up saying, yes.. :) Maybe I'll just let everyone continue in their ignorance and not say a thing.. haha Socially, people started noticing how I smile and nod my way through everything long ago! I've only recently started saying, "No, thank you though," to invitations etc etc that'll essentially end up being time-consuming and awkward visits. This makes me a more exclusive (synonym needed) person to spend time with, but it gives me loads more time to spend on the things I really want to be doing! Professionally, I am planning on becoming a cop (street-level diplomat, eh?) ;)
Well simply, if you dicied to not participate in life you miss out on life. Conversations are good, period. It's up to you to make them that way. If some just wants to argue, then you'll know, and then you smile and nod. But to aviod conversation because there might be an argument means a solution to a problem may be missed. So it's a choice, but as I heard someone say "life's been good to me, so how do you be good to life, you live it."
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